I'm in my room at the Marriott when my cell phone rings. It's a West Virginia area code but I don't recognize the number. When I answer, there is silence, so I chalk it up to a wrong number.
15 minutes later it rings again. Same area code, but different number.
"I want to know why you were trying to call my husband."
"I was going through the numbers on my husband's cell phone and your number was there. I want to know why you were calling him."
"I haven't called anybody's husband. Who is your husband?"
She hesitates a moment, then gives a name I don't recognize.
"Lady, I've never heard of your husband and I wasn't trying to call him."
"Your number is on his cell phone. Why is your number on his cell phone?"
What I'm tempted to say is, why are you monitoring your husband's phone calls? And if somebody's been messin' with your husband, it sure as heck wasn't me--you've got this wrong on so many levels, lady. I don't do relationships. Even if I did relationships, it wouldn't be with boys. And even it I did boys, it wouldn't be husbands.
But she's got my number; it's probably best to not antagonize her, so I quietly hang up as she continues to babble on about the number on his cell phone.
When I tell the story to colleagues at work the next day, they think I should have a male friend call her and ask, why is your husband's number showing up on my wife's cell phone....? :o)
Just hope this isn't gonna end up on that reality TV show being filmed in West Virginia - Buck Naked or Buck Wild or whatever it's called?
What I would look like if I was fixin' to mess with your husband....