The Talking Lizards

"Oh new mistress of our house! We are so happy to have you move into our house since it really makes it feel like home to have a human in our midst. We are so happy to eat as many mosquitoes as we can fit in our bellies and do our best to keep the evil spirits away from you. But we are sad to learn that you find us repulsive and want to kick us out. Our real names are Happy, Lucky, Fearless, and Wise. It pains us that you wish to relegate us to the same part of the universe that your silly President Bush wishes to put gay people who desire to marry. But we plan to stay and do our best for you anyway. Your willing servants and friends, Happy, Lucky, Fearless, and Wise." --Lizards

LOL LOL LOL ROFLMAO -- talking lizards - I love it! And they even speak perfect English! 

Look guys, I know you were here before me. But there are no squatters' rights in this country. And the squirrels and mosquitoes have tried that same tactic on me already. I'm just asking for this little bit of personal space here. A few hundred square feet, really. It's not asking much. You are welcome to the entire garden. The lot around this house is twenty times the size of the house. Lots of mosquitoes and other juicy creepy crawly things for you there! Plus, you were doing a lousy job of chowing down on the mosquitoes in the house, I had to pay a human 5000 rupees to do your job. If you're going to stay here, I will have to start charging you rent. (And, Happy, Lucky, Fearless, and Wise, you sound suspiciously like Sharon! Or is it Sheila?? You tried to throw me off by sending me an email message at the same time, didn't you?)  ;o)

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When I open my eyes this morning, the first thing I see is a big fat lizard plastered on the ceiling right above my bed. He looks neither Happy, nor Lucky, nor Fearless nor Wise. I think I'm going to name him George W. Bush, since it seems like he has nothing better to do than closely monitor my bedroom activities with his beady little eyes. He is doing lizard push-ups, flexing his puny little muscles, and every once in a while he fires a little turd my way. Yeah, that's definitely George. He seems to have a little sidekick, a skinnier, less smug-looking lizard who is not doing push-ups but hovers nearby. That must be Laura Bush. I think George and Laura have been busy breeding lately, because I also see a couple baby lizards scurry by. (Oops, I mean they've been busy Preserving The Sanctity Of Marriage Between A Man And A Woman).

Yes, I am still bitter and twisted about the gay marriage thing....

Comments

[Trina]

LOL! Carole and I got a great laugh out of reading this blog this morning. Thanks!!!

[John]

Funny as all heck, as always! But I'm not sure seeing something doing push-ups would remind me of "Dubya", even if it were a lizard!

[draagonfly]

I was searching in Google for why mosquitos might be doing pushups (one landed on my desk and proceeded to perform this bizarre little ritual to the music I was playing) and came across your blog. How interesting that you live in Chennai! I used to work with many people over there in the book publishing industry. I've seen lizards do their dance before - I have an iguana and a gecko as pets. They won't bother you... much. :) I like your analogy to George. Very funny! :) Good luck over in India! I would love to be an ExPat with the way things are going here, but have a daughter to worry about. Maybe someday.